Ok so absolutely no lie – the #SEELE council# my writers and I have combed over the rules of this subreddit and have figured out a glaring loophole in it’s rules, and so that’s what this post is. This post is the MOST NSFW POST EVER MADE ON THIS SUBREDDIT – and we don’t have to mark it as NSFW.

You think I’m kidding? I’m not. I couldn’t even put what type of … tryst this is in the heading or else my account would be flagged.

If you’re the kind of person who likes this kind of smut, make sure to join our Discord – but more importantly, subscribe to our Patreon. Super-secret R&D is going to go on once we reach a certain $ threshold, and you’ll want to be there once the patents roll out.

I’m not kidding.


It was a foolish, stupid dare.

It was a foolish, stupid dare and Tom was stupid for taking it.

Te’Piak’Yc had no idea how stupid Tom was, however, and was ruffling her feathers in the closest human equivalent of ‘twiddling her thumbs’. Tom practically leapt up from the hallway couch once she passed by, and had been standing in her way for the past 5 minutes; since she was a courteous Karnakian, she was willing to wait and hear him out – no matter how long that would take.

Every few moments he would summon up some courage, look at her with a determined gaze, and then immediately lose heart and look away. With anyone else it would’ve been infuriating after the third or fourth time, but Te’Piak’Yc just found it downright adorable.

‘|Oh, you got it this time!|’ she thought as Tom balled his hands into fists, a new mask of fierce determination firmly pressed into his features.

“[Hey Te’Piak’Yc!]”


The human raised his hand in a greeting. “[Up high!]”

The human kept his hand raised in a greeting, and Te’Piak’Yc, not wanting to commit a social faux pas, mimicked the gesture.

Tom whined a little as he leaned forward, hopping up to rapidly hit his hand agai-

“|Oh! It’s a [high-five]!|” Te’Piak’Yc suddenly realized, the joy in being included in this human ritual rapidly spreading through her body.

“[D-do all of you fluff up like that when you get a high-five?]”

“|Wha? Oh! Uh-n, no, sorry-|”

“[It’s ok. Again? Up High!]” Tom said, smiling as he raised his hand up a little above his head. Te’Piak’Yc, with happy little chirps, leaned forward and gently tapped her hand against his, the resounding smack echoing through the hall.

“[Ayy, well done! Down low!]”

Tom lowered his hand and Te’Piak’Yc squatted a little, moving her hand forward to tap his once more. She didn’t know how long this ritual would last, but she was enjoying every moment of it regardless; nothing could dim her smil-

Tom moved his hand out of the way at the last moment, an Te’Piak’Yc pawed at the empty air.

“[T…Too, too slow.]” He said, quite possibly realizing for the first time that a grinning dinosaur was inches away from his head. Te’Piak’Yc just looked at Tom, feathers tamped down in sadness. “|Have….have I failed you, friend-[Tom]?|”

In that moment Tom felt something he hadn’t felt since he played little league soccer – a flood of unfiltered shame

“[N-no! It was… it was just a prank! With our hands, that’s all – a joke, of a kind. I uh, I didn’t-]”

“|You play jokes with your hands? May I see them?|”

“[The jokes or my hands-]”

Te’Piak’Yc brought an arm across her chest, offering her hand to her small charge with a gentle smile – gentle, that is, for a massive scaled, feathered alien. He looked at her, glancing quickly between his hand and hers before his eyes met hers again and he extended his own arm accordingly. The soft, pink flesh of Tom’s palm slid across her leathery fingers, the subtle oils that coated his skin tingling at the sensation of her relatively rough, dry flesh. Her thick, powerful talon-tipped fingers wrapped around his comparably fragile, miniature hand, wrapping it in cool, rough flesh as his slender fingers struggled to even reach far enough to wrap around the side of her own palm. A frantic, hot pulse filled her hand as Tom’s heart fluttered in his chest.

Te’Piak’Yc brought her closer arm to wrap around the diminutive, featherless male, a cloak of feathers surrounding him as her talons tenderly traced thin lines across his abdomen. He opened his mouth to speak, but was met with a soft, two-toned sigh as  the massive, feathered reptilian backed up against the wall and settled herself on the human-sized couch. Wordlessly, gently, she began pulling him into her lap. Te’Piak’Yc nuzzled into his short, black hair, catching a hint of citrus as her thick skin dragged across his scalp.

Wrapped in her massive, feather-wreathed arms was a strange sensation for Tom, for several reasons. First matter to contend with was her size – he felt like a child again against her massive frame. Next, the paradox of her cold blood, and warm feathers. Her flesh was cool against the exposed parts of his body, though her feathers trapped in the heat around where they covered, creating spots of warmth in other areas that made the embrace more akin to being wrapped in a warm, colorful blanket. He pressed himself up against her broad chest, sighing softly as he began to relax. Sharp, dark claws gently caressed his sides, Te’Piak’Yc careful not to press too hard against his body. They both well knew she could eviscerate him in an instant, and perhaps that only added to strange rush of simply sitting there in her arms.

“|You are very warm.|” she muttered from above him, pulling him ever so slightly closer to her body. “[You are . . . not]” he replied softly, uncertain how else to phrase it.

Te’Piak’Yc trilled a chuckle as she reached down, taking his petite hand in her own again. Wrapping her thick fingers around his pale flesh, she made an attempt to push her fingers between the gaps of his own. Between the size difference of both her hand to his and likewise with the gaps between her fingers, the best she could manage was to tuck the tips of his fingers between the knuckles of her own. She could still feel his pulse through his slick, warm palm. She took a deep breath, whistling softly as she exhaled before tucking her muzzle back against his head, this time bringing it down against his shoulder.

With her rough, scaled cheek pressed against his Tom could feel his breath hitch in his throat, and he leaned back into her massive frame as he relaxed. It was strangely exhilarating, being so totally surrounded by her thick, muscular frame. There was nothing he could do, and that was totally okay. The sensation of complete security filled him with a strange warmth that seemed to radiate outward, causing her to pull him in even tighter. It was like being tucked into a warm bed with a cool pillow, and before long Tom could not help but feel like closing his eyes.

“|This is a good joke, friend-[Tom].|” Te’Piak’Yc murmured, rubbing his soft, warm hands in her larger palm.

“[I-I, I uh, I don’t get, um-]” Tom babbled, craning his neck to look back at his new impromptu cuddle-buddy. “[What?]”

“|This. This joke.|” Te’Piak’Yc said, holding one of their intertwined hands up to let him look at it.

“[I don’t… get it. We’re just holding hands – I mean, it’s in public, but, I don’t get it.]”

“|It’s ok. This joke is for the other [Humans] – the ones watching this.|” Te’Piak’Yc said, smiling, as she waited for the notification of new comments and positive karma to start flooding in.