Categories
Stories They are Smol

They are Smol – and it’s a Smol World: Chapter 17

It was the sound of cloth on air, an almost imperceptible lift as Juan Esteban coaxed the giant moth upwards. It’s multi-limbed grip was surprisingly snug; although the arms were chitinous and uncomfortable, the body (once you got used to the fact that it was a giant insect) was soft and somewhat pliable. Like an insistent memory foam mattress. Or a yet-broken-in pillow.

“Bok.”

“I-h, uuh, w-wow.” Juan stuttered, as the mind-numbing fear that had gripped him poured from his body, replaced with wonder. He was flying, like in some of those dreams he remembered – except he was still smaller than his brothers, and his dad hadn’t let him drive the car by himself yet. There was another sound of a gentle wingbeat, and Juan was moved both forward and up, slightly. The beast on his back apparently was content to ride the thermals from the city below; it didn’t know exactly what was going on other than it got the shiny thing, and that was all it’s primitive brain wanted.

“ÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ~”

Juan looked at the world that extended still far below him; little jewels of light flickering in the night. Part of him really wanted to just stay here in the relative quiet of the summer night, letting the world below him stretch out, watching the living while not participating. Somewhere, he felt, there was a lo-fi hip hop beat he could chill to while doing this.

The other, more rational part of his entire being pointed out that you’re still fuck-off high being saved by a wild animal you can’t really control.

“Bok.”

“Y-yeah. Ok. Ok, umm…” Juan tilted his arms up and to the left, starting a purposeful and gentle corkscrew up into the sky. Slowly, he climbed the height he had fallen, each wingbeat pushing him up another 7, 10 feet in the air. As he circled, other giant moths would come to investigate, but would ultimately leave him alone – apparently the lure of the light wasn’t enough to overcome their inherent flight right-of-way.

“Bok.”

“ÖÖÖ~”

Bok-

“No arguing you two!” Juan interjected, trying his best to “steer” the animal back towards safety and family. Well. “Safety”. I mean, there was still a giant moth, a blazing inferno, thousands of the little bastards aimlessly roaming around the night and active gunfire. So like Detroit, but with a better housing market.

It took a few more minutes, a few more perilous bumps into other moths, the building, and falling hard-light debris, but eventually Juan crested the tarmac.

It was just as bad as he remembered.

SHE was sovereign.

For a million million dawns had SHE lain dormant; for a million million nights SHE had awoken. If not HER, then the queen before HER, and the queen before that, stretching unbroken throughout HER world’s history.

SHE was sovereign.

This was HER territory, and as such, SHE would fear no thing. The memories of ancient times, of smoke and ice, of other monsters that threatened HER sovereignty now long-dead stirred in HER genetic memory and just as quickly dissipated.

Fire came rarely now, so rarely, and each and every blaze worthy enough for HER presence demanded such. The fire opened parts of HER that would usually remain dormant through processes SHE knew not, but instinctually followed regardless. There would be an opening, a dance, a conjugation and soon, spawning. The flood that would hatch from HER body would darken the very skies itself with children, scattering to the nine winds unto the end of this world. Some would find other queens, some would stay, and some would die; this was the way things always have been and always would be for another million million days and nights, stretching unbroken unto the ending of all things.

So then. With all of this instinctually known, with all of this as fact and feeling, with HER own form reigning sovereign over this whole world –

With all this allied with HER, what the fuck was this thing doing?

The thing – the small, insignificant, probably inedible thing – stood? defiant before HER. It was not the loud, burning thing that was an enemy but was now defeated. It was not the other, flat thing that was not HER and not food and yet flew. It was also not the other smaller things that made noises and were probably not edible as well. But this thing stood defiant, and more importantly, reached out and struck HER. It struck HER, but not with fire and not with smoke or ice or any of the ancient things. It was not such beasts; it was new.

The thing moved again, insignificant and small. SHE watched, with interest, as HER children continued to claim the sky, as the heat began to open HER, as SHE pressed down against the burning enemy, taking no small satisfaction in the irony (if SHE knew what irony really was) that that it kept HER from fire with heat and yet was, itself, very warm. SHE settled in, and watched as the thing let out a noise and waved a part of itself in some-

thok

…that was twice now. Once was an aberration; twice was UNACCEPTABLE.

“Ĥệɏ”

SHE saw everything; SHE was aware of all, and SHE was going to imminently establish HER dominance –

and then one of HER children rose, ascendant.

Juan’s arms were crossed and raised high above his head, in a glorious picture of Humanity rising that would be shared for generations to come – as all eyes, both physical and digital, were upon him.

This, of course, was not because the child understood maximum a e s t h e t i c s but instead was born completely out of necessity; the beast on his back was following the light, the hard-light disk had wrapped it’s metal talons tightly around his forearms, and he was refusing to let the animal that he loved – a chicken, which is a bird and can at least fucking glide – out of his hands. Hence, the crossed arms, the wrist-grip on the bird, and the pose.

Eggsmerelda, for her part, had her own wings spread in actual triumph. Now was her moment – now was the time.

She let out a keening call, and her flock heard. As one, they turned to pay attention, for she had brought them to the final point of all things, to the culmination of ten thousand years of work and gentle nudging. The other, it’s species half-dumb, tensed. Could it sense the energy? Did it know?

No. Surely not. The half-dumb other screeched something nonsensical at the flock, spreading it’s limbs out in a human dominance pose.

Intimidation would not work. Not now. Not when they were so close.

As her flock called out as one, Eggsmerelda began to sing.

“Bok-Bagokoku na tenshi no you ni, Shounen yo-”

“Eggsmerelda!” Juan protested, pulling his arms in tight. “Now is not the time for the Human Instrumentality Project!”

“Bok!” she protested, trying to wiggle out of her humans’ grip. If she could just get back into the nexus of energy, if she could just be free to channel once more-

“Wh-OH~!” Juan said, as his perspective shifted. With the new positioning of his arms, the hard-light beacon now pointed straight down. The terror-beast, the dumb animal that it was, beat it’s wings with purpose, upending the trio and pointing them straight at the tarmac.

Oh n-

ÖÖÖÖ-”

“Well bok.” Eggsmerelda stated, matter-of-factly, as the trio of them faceplanted into the pavement below with enough force that Juan’s remaining shoe flew off his foot as he full-on scorpion’d.

Isabella was absolutely determined to get this moth out of her kitchen. The problem was, somehow, the moth was shrinking all the shoes that she threw at it. If she could find one of her fly swatters, or better, a pan, this little bastard would be gone already. Once she got rid of the insect, she could work on the portal to hell in the living room and all these flying puppies that Juan adopted and isn’t training at all-

Oh.

As if on answer to her prayers, a smaller shoe – one that would fit a child – sailed through her vision. In that instant, she knew.

The Lord had heard her prayer, and provided.

If a normal shoe would be shrunk, then a smaller shoe-

Isabella gripped the smaller shoe in her fist, wound her arm back and, I cannot stress this enough, yeeted the even smaller speck of rubber into the night.

tok

Time stood still. All eyes turned towards the giant insect, but the beast looked only at the hunched over abuela that stood before it.

Without breaking it’s gaze, the Mother stood up, gripped the mecha that had caused it so much pain – if they were going to take one of her children, she would do the same – and spread it’s wings once more-

“Ĥɱᵽȟ”

-and took off.

“CHICKPEA TALK TO ME-” HUMMUS said, trying to figure out what exactly the fuck was happening. There was a minor delay in the telemetry – yes, the visuals on her screen refreshed at the speed of light, but there was so much visual and EM noise that onboard processing had to “clean” everything before it refreshed on her console. Some of it was melding together the same image from multiple viewpoints, some of it was the computer “filling in the blanks” to give the most statistically-significant possible next frame, but none of it made a goddamn lick of sense.

The giant moth thing that was, by all known zoological standards too large to exist, shrugged off a couple million rounds of the best ammunition mankind had developed, landed in a jet fuel fire hot enough to melt steel beams and was about to do something, but…

…just stared at a civilian and flew off.

The issue wasn’t any of those things – I mean, yes it was but right now, no it wasn’t – the issue was that CHICKPEA’S stream of data streamed unbroken from the ground to the ship, was cut off in an instant, and now…

…now it was moving North by Northwest at roughly 250Km/hr. About 2 miles up. Somehow.

“CHICKPEA I’M REALLY GETTING CONCERNED-”

“-SS?”

HUMMUS adjusted for variance, and a stream of curses came into sharp focus.

“-CUNTING FUCKDAMN-”

“CHICKPEA!”

“FUCK. Finally!” Lt. Heinz yelled, something sounding like the rythmic pounding of fiberglass-on-metal echoing in the background. “I have absolutely no fucking clue on what to do-”

“CHICKPEA what’s going on? Talk to me.”

“I’m Flying.”

“In that rig? It’s called falling with style-”

“No you cunt I mean the fucking thing picked me up and now I’m flying. It landed, smothered me, and now I’m uh… where am I even going?”

“North by Northwest, 250 clicks every hour. Possibly the mountain range?”

“Ok. Am I getting support?”

“…”

“HUMMUS-”

“CHICKPEA, I mean, yes? Eventually? We’re still co-ordinating…”

“So what do I do now?”

“Hang tight. Admiral Smalls says he’s put his top men on it.”

“Yeah? Who?”

HUMMUS turned to look at the stone-faced admiral, who was very much either (1) answering multiple overlapping distress signals or (2) off in his own little world, hoping that this absolute clusterfuck wouldn’t land at his feet.

“Uh… Top. Men.”

There was a brief, but heavy pause.

“Sure. Thanks.” Lt. Heinz said, muting his mic. On the vidscreen all around him were familiar faces, the smaller moths bonking into him, the giant one, and each other as they moved with some alien purpose into the inky black night.

“How the fuck could this happen to me.” Lt. Heinz said, as he reflected on his mistakes.

“Dios Mia.” Ricardo murmured, as the moths just… left. He and his sons had formed a barrier of humanity around his wife and daughter – well. The sons that had made it into the ship. Juan, Juan and Juan had run to take care of the livestock – at first to calm them down, but quickly soon after to join them in their pens for some added safety, and were slowly crawling out. The horses were still spooked, the alpacas were having a conference, and the pigs were…

…well they were covered in shit, but that’s par for the course.

“What the absolute fuck.” Andres sighed, exasperated at the night’s events.

“I just wanted to cook some chorizo. Is that so much to ask, Lord?” Tomas said, rubbing his face a little too roughly. “Nnnnngh. I wanna go home-

“Is everyone here? Is everyone accounted for?” Luciana said from the back, standing on her tiptoes to see beyond the protective barrier. “Is mema ok?”

“[Please. Get off of me.]”
“Oh!”
“Shit!”
“Um.”

Szreshnstrst lay on the floor of the dropship, splayed out, defeated and slightly dazed. One moment he was getting a lecture in sovereign citizen rights, the next he was being attacked by some very warm and very tiny fists. It wasn’t that they were stronger than him, just, there were so many. Then the ship was rocked and there were explosions and suddenly, somehow, he found himself being stepped on.

Something deep inside him disagreed with this turn of events. Something even deeper inside him was awoken, but that would be worked out through therapy. And a subscription to Lewdhub.galnet.node 

As the humans got off of the Jornissian he stood, wobbling slightly. “[What happened. Why. Just.]” As he turned to admonish the now sheepish-looking humans, he was interrupted by a yell.

“[Is everyone ok?]” His partner, Zngrer-of-Drgrabgh called, poking her head into the ship from the side of the loading bay ramp. “[We’re gonna sweep the pad once the terror-beasts thin out.]”

“Yeah, we’re fine – we have family out there though-”

“[We know, we’ll get them.]” Zngrer said, tilting her head slightly in confirmation.

“[You promise?]”

Zngrer turned and caught the deep, pure eyes of Ngruzren piercing deep into her core once more. Wordlessly she reached up to cup his jaw, and he leaned into her touch.

“[For you… yes. I promise.]”

“Can I go now?” Tomas said, still limp in Tipo’s arms.

“[Good… I…]” Ngruzren started, but a claw was pressed against his lips.

“[Hush. I know.]” Zngrer said, smiling. “[And I-]”

“STAND TALL FOR TURTLEFALL-”

The group outside jumped as multiple impacts hit the landing pad they were on, the ones around them, and a few other completely-innocent buildings. UNIT ZERO TWO through ZERO FIVE stood proudly in the night air, weapons spinning with deadly intent.

“CITIZEN!” the nearest one boomed, it’s hoversled crackling to life. “WE HAVE COME TO-”

“Ai! What did I say about leaving the windows open-

WHAT?”

“[What-]”

“Abuela no-”

thok

Categories
Stories They are Smol

They are Smol – and It’s a Smol World: Chapter 16

There’s always a lurch when you fall, especially if it’s from any significant height.

Some people feel it in their gut, some feel it over their whole body, some get disoriented and start to twist and turn in the air; it’s a function of the inner ear, after all, that gives you the lurch once you tumble into the abyss. Eventually momentum catches up with you, and you sort of “level out” at a terminal velocity that is, in and of itself, absolutely terrifying to everyone but adrenaline junkies.

Juan felt that. He felt all of it. Eyes screwed shut in fear, body tumbling into the abyss, he screamed into the wind as gravity worked it’s mighty and indifferent work upon his frame, pulling him down, faster and faster.

Eggsmerelda, for her part, spread her wings in a vain attempt to do something positive.

The hard-light projector crackled to life, a warped human standing proudly on the little boy’s arms, glowing harsh and bright against the night – so it was very easy for people in the neighboring towers to track his trajectory in impotent horror.

-RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-

“But no, SERIOUSLY, Where the fuck is my backup HUMMUS? Lt. Heinz growled, the indicator of his surviving shield drones dwindling down to the single digits. “I thought you said 10 minutes!

“I did, I – fuck off with that report, Ashish – I did CHICKPEA; titans have broke atmo but our comms are dead until the burn-off window is over. You still have 3 minutes-”

Figuring the giant fuck-off moth wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon, Lt. Heinz popped a few canisters of smoke around his technically-a-Gundam-stop-laughing in an attempt to get the smaller fuck-off moths to leave him alone for a few seconds. Every once in a while a moth would venture to close to his weapons, and the heat – or the vortex of air that was caused by the sheer amount of ordinance being propelled forward – would suck one of them into the bullet stream. With a disgusting pop the creature would explode, which is a minor victory, but whatever it was made out of was unfortunately flammable.

And Unit Zero One was standing in the middle of an inferno, and the fire was rising.

“What about CASINO?!”

HUMMUS bit her lip for a moment, before delivering the bad news. “CASINO is closed; DEALER is going to see what gets destroyed, but all infrastructure is secure and personnel are evacuated to the sub levels. Best case, xeno districts get fucked and we can put in some new slot machines; worst case is we get to rebuild CASINO from the ground up with a little more advertising on the front.” HUMMUS said, the flurry of her keyboard an omnipresent background noise as she continued to manage incoming data, ignore civilian requests for information, and push whatever data needed to be pushed to wherever it needed to go.

POP

“So I’m waiting for the other snack pack crew and then what?” Lt. Heinz sighed as his craft shuddered slightly, the barrels rotating to cool without cessation of fire. “Apparently whatever the fuck that giant one is made out of is strong enough to withstand punishment, and I don’t see coordinated fire doing anything impressive.”

-RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-

“I’m working on it – PDF are totally fucking ass-backwards with how to deal with this.”

POP

“The FUCK do you mean?”

“I mean, apparently this shit is myth and legend to them.” HUMMUS said, pausing for a moment. “Everything’s… fucked. The fire brigade needs to get down there to kill the flames and end the mating dance of these things, but there’s so fucking many of them that it’s all birdstrikes in their engines, so they’re outside the perimeter. Our own fire-suppressant isn’t working because of course it’s not, and any personnel trained for it are bunkered down. PDF don’t want to come in guns blazing because (1) that just looks bad when you shell civilians and (2) They don’t know what to make of … you.”

“I’ve stunned and amazed many a woman-”

“Fuck off CHICKPEA. Goal right now is… hopefully with full Titanfall we have enough firepower to push THE terror-beast back, and a few of the other rigs can then mop up enough of the smaller ones to allow the brigade to swooce right on in and put out the fire.”

POP

“So, just keep shooting and hope everything works out?”

“I got nothing better for you.”

-RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-

“Great, well, fuck it.” Lt. Heinz laughed, mirthlessly, as another of the beasts was pulled in and popped simultaneously. “There are worse ways to die I guess, than by… moth.”

“Just think, it’ll be a first for the corps!”

“Oh fucking great, they’ll make a fucking cadence out of me, won’t th-”

-RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDGDGDGDGGDDDDGGD-

“Oh FUCK

“CHICKPEA I need you to talk to me what the hell just happened-”

Lt. Heinz’s hands danced over the console as multiple warning lights demanded his attention; internal stress fractures, snapped gearbox, power fluctuations, coolant intake and venting clogged, hydraulic leak-

Wait.

OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE-”

“CHICKPEA-”

“THEY GOT SUCKED INTO THE ENGINE.” Lt. Heinz roared, reaching down to start manually pumping an emergency level, forcing a single barrel into firing position a few inches at a time. “THE LITTLE BASTARDS FUCKED ME UP.”

“Wait. Oh Goddamnit-”

“ONE BARREL, LETS DO THIS YOU CUNT-”

Unit ZERO-ONE fired off what remained of it’s ichor-fused, terror-beast clogged main gun in short bursts, standing defiant as IT came closer. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, Lt. Heinz realized that he wouldn’t make it to a second mission; his goal now was to buy time, and survive.

And the door to Human Comfort Pod -18-FS8-4 opened with a soft hiss.

You would think, at some point, the Jornissians would realize that they’re very bad at making drinks for Humans, and would let them lead when it came to stocking the pantry.

Sure, there’s test kitchens all across the Sol system; every day thousands of tons of new foodstuffs were shipped in, the intergalactic community eager to learn what new and exiting gastronomic discoveries would be made by their inquisitive colleagues. The snack-industrial complex therefore was part safety testing, part taste-testing, and part culinary experimentation lab, but the unfortunate truth is that the sheer volume of stuff coming in was too much to allow for deep and thorough documentation. Sure, it was always easier to say “if it’s not human-made don’t eat it” but that’s not something the average human would be willing to say when you’ve just been served Matriarch T’t’t’t’t’t’t’t’s homemade flavorpaste and the chef stands eagerly before you waiting for your critique. There just literally weren’t enough people to run thorough tests, to ingest the food, to be monitored and followed up on, so Humanity turned to a tried and true method:

“Fuck it. If they live they live.”

And so, food was approved. Now it was made very clear that food was simply indicated as “edible” and “non-edible”; the thought was that by “crowdsourcing” the taste-testing, Humanity would naturally discover what foods and combinations of foods would lead to horrific and painful death. Not only would this work faster at scale, but by out-sourcing the whole thing, the snack-industrial complex could come in under budget. Sure, Mingli rolled the dice and died frothing at the mouth, but Lubanzi’s implant was updated in time to stop him from making the same mistake. Sometimes you just get super sleepy, sometimes you discover a neurotoxin.

So, yanno. Expediency and all that, the ends justify the means, etc., etc.

Isabella Aleman, professional Abuela, was the first human to ingest what students everywhere would come to use as “natural” adderol, mystics would hail as a “transcendence elixir” and the Military would eventually call a phenomenal combat drug. The Sruprimsn spice is a bog-standard additive to most hot Jornissian drinks; after decades of research and translation upgrades the best analogue to it would be a thickening powder that (to the Jornissian palate) tasted lightly of clove. It was a warming spice, meant to still impart the feeling of heat even when the drink itself cooled down. There were entire mono-agriculture stations dedicated to growing the stuff in an industrial scale, and it could be found pretty much wherever a good, hot drink was being served.

It also, through not-entirely-well-known processes, was metabolized in three very distinct ways in the human body.

First, it caused drowsiness, and eventually sleep – A deep, restful sleep where the brain was kicked almost constantly into REM. Once enough of the chemical was metabolized and there were a couple exchanges of proteins and electrons and whatnot, the body moved into the second stage.

Isabella Aleman was currently experiencing the second stage, and she experienced it as if it was a dream. The door to a room she did not remember going into opened up, and hell was laid bare before her. Wordlessly, silently, she stood up, climbing out of the off-kilter door and stepping into the pit itself. If God had deemed her unworthy, then who was she to fight her fate?

“No.” She thought, as she looked around. “Not Hell.”

Underneath her feet, a tarmac; There a little ways off were the horses, spooked. Same with the cattle; a few had serious injuries. She would have to tend to them if the menfolk weren’t around. There was an.. An absence of a low, deep droning noise that had slowly roused her from sleep; it was comforting, but the relative silence left her confused.

Looking around – there, to her left, a ship? Some of her children – good, maybe, they’re unloading. They even had some of the locals come help.

Isabella furrowed her brow.

No. That’s not right. They had already unloaded…

She turned her head, to the right. Fire, fire and brimstone and standing in the midst of it a devil, triumphant – an angel, fallen – some beast from the pit, black and flaming and with a sword of fire-

Isabella frowned. Why was it so hard to focus?

The machine fired another burst of fire, the comforting but now obnoxiously loud sound causing her to full-body recoil. Something kept nagging at her, something-

She waved her hand at her side to get the puppy to stop jumping up. You have to train animals, you see, and if little Juan wanted a house-dog then he needed to start putting in the work on making it house-broken-

Wait. No. This… This wasn’t Earth. She wasn’t home.

Isabella looked up as IT pushed forward triumphantly, body dwarfing any beast she had seen in reality or imagination, wings spreading over the two towers blotting out the stars. The fire licked against the moondust on it’s wings, and dancing embers began to glitter in the night.

“Tch. Ricardo left the window open.” She muttered, leaning down to her side as she brought her heel up, slipping off her chancla. With a steady eye she took aim.

Sruprimsn spice is metabolized in the Human body in three ways. Two of which are predictable; A deep long sleep based on your bodyweight and the quality of the spice. A purely zen-like pseudo-hallucinogenic calm that lasts far less than your sleep, but can still be roughly guesstimated based on your metabolism and how long you spent under. And then the final bit, which the Military still hasn’t cracked to this day, and whose variableness is the only reason why it’s legally traded in Human space to begin with:

A single, fast-twitch burst of pure fucking adrenaline with absolutely no metabolic crash afterwards.

For a brief moment the terror-beasts parted, the air was still, and the fire abated.

YIIII- Isabella screeched as she let fly, her slipper flying true. It spun, a blur of brown against the black sky, a small piece of synthetic rubber lost amidst the chaotic scene unfolding before her.

FUCK, FUCK, IT’S COMING IN-”

“Lock your bracers in, CHICKPEA-”

“DANGER CLOSE-” Lt. Heinz gritted his teeth, his whole body tensing for the collision of the gargantuan beast. Although he had ammunition to spare, the excess heat of his weaponry forced an automatic shutdown. Without coolant being pumped through the system and vented properly, the barrels had to air-cool, which would take… minutes. Hours, if he was unlucky. It didn’t matter, though.

Lt. Heinz knew he was dead from the start.

There was a scraping as gigantic chitinous claws punctured the tarmac, the beast fanning the flames triumphantly. Once it fully landed, it’s whole weight would be atop the tower – potentially crushing ZERO ONE, and potentially collapsing the tower itself. There was nothing to do but wait, and hope that somehow his body would be intact enough to identify in the wrecka-

thok

IT blinked, if it could be called blinking, as a single faux-rubber slipper landed squarely between it’s wide and inky-black eyes. Antennae twitched, focus turned inward, and for a brief moment the fire was forgotten.

“ỰĤ”

Juan Esteban was falling, and there was nothing to be done for him. This was a simple fact, and the assembled xenos – both in glass towers nearby, in ships outside of moth-strike range, and those viewing on camera – could do nothing but witness the tragedy. The beasts, stupid and brutish, battered about by the winds, tumbled down with him, beating against the glass and the building itself.

Juan cried as he kept his eyes shut, and the planet’s gravity tugged at him

Harder

Harder

Hard, multi-joined limbs wrapped around his small frame, a disgustingly soft-yet-firm body pressed against his back, his clothing was pinched in all the wrong places as one of the things latched onto him and-

and spread it’s wings.

Juan lost a shoe from the change in momentum, the errant article of clothing spinning off into the void. He felt the surprisingly firm beat of the creature’s wings as it bled momentum, vertical speed turning horizontal turning into a gentle lift.

“Wh-what?” He wept, red and wet eyes opening for the first time.

“ÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ-” The beast said, admiring the T-posing human-light that was clamped onto Juan’s arms. It beat it’s wings, attempting to close the distance from it to the light – accomplishing nothing but mild acceleration.

Juan sniffed and coughed as the beast flapped it’s wings again, riding the thermals up.

“Bok.”

“I uh… it’s…-”

“Bok!”

“Oh!” Juan lessened his death-grip on Eggsmerelda, the chicken thankful that she wouldn’t die by impact or by a terror-hug. As he loosened his grip the hologram shifted to the left; with a gentle turn the beast followed it. Juan turned his arms to the right, and the beast followed it after just a moment’s delay.

“…Oh.

Hesitantly, Juan turned his arms up, and flew.

Categories
Stories They are Smol

They are Smol – and it’s a Smol World: Chapter 15

IT, the Mother, spread her wings wide in ecstasy, instinctually fanning the flames before her. IT knew that such an event happened once every few millenia, and in the ways that Karnakians just knew about soullight or Dorarizin just knew their family’s scent or Jornissians just knew about libertarianism or Humans just knew where the vents were in every building, IT knew that the fire had to rise.

Of course not a single terror-beast decided to tell the other sapients that were alternating between fear, terror, and grim determination.

All save for one.

The pilot of UNIT ZERO-ONE was feeling a feel that had very rarely, if ever been feeled; some as-of-yet undescribed feeling that mixed “being in the right place at the right time” with “dying in glory” and a side of “damnit, the gypsy was right, this is how I go” plus “my ancestors smile upon me imperial” with just a dash of “my last meal was cheerios. Really?!

“Breaking the seals; all weapons are go-” Lt.Heinz aka. CHICKPEA’s fingers danced over consoles and switches, rapidly preparing his not-a-mecha for combat. Somewhere in the back of his mind he realized he joined an elite and unfortunate group of soldiers who battle-tested new equipment for the first time; he wondered how many of them never made it to the second engagement.

“CHANCLA has dropped all payloads; CHICKPEA you’ll have backup in 10 minutes.”

“-go for thrust, weapons hot. ATC can’t fire SWARM – get these stupid fucks out of the air-”

“Working on it CHICKPEA. You are go in the AO-”

“CASINO, HUMMUS?” Lt.Heinz asked as his Automatic Targeting Computer screamed at him, multiple overlapping warning signals about “danger close” this and “civilians” that being hastily ignored.

“Bunkering in first – DEALER’s coordinating, but systems are coming online. Don’t want to play our hand lest the locals want in on our table – you’re on your own until re-enforcements break atmo.”

CHICKPEA growled a response, his triple-linked GAU-18 weapons system rapidly spinning to life. UNIT ZERO-ONE, officially known as the Boston-General-Electric-Dynamics-Hasbro Multi-Terrain Mobile Suppressant System Production Set Model 01 with optional matching cell phone charm attachment was an extremely niche system meant for a battlefield where at almost every metric known to man, mankind fell short. It had no real close-quarters defense systems; it could deploy smoke and chaff, but other than physically moving had no way to clear enemy soldiers who were a little too close. The pilot sat behind almost 2 meters of exotic composite armor, mixing in metallurgy, ceramics and plastics in a way that before the uplift would have remained out of reach for centuries, if not millenia.

The official redacted specs said even that would only buy the pilot a minute or two of time before a combat-suited xenos would just burrow – or shoot, or rip or mine – it’s way through.

UNIT ZERO ONE had no esoteric weapons systems, no planet-crackers, no secret dark-matter hyperdrive to explode in a fit of spite. It was an insulated metal coffin, dotted with microscopic cameras, sensors and speakers, with a couple welded-on hives of sensor/shield drones to delay the inevitable; hell, if you cut the wireless power the damn thing basically had enough energy to pop open the cockpit and shut down. Speaking of, the single pilot sat in his cockpit – if it could be generously described as such, for there was no emergency escape, no cushioning, no space for emergency kits or personal effects – there were even height and weight requirements to pilot the damn thing, and not an insignificant amount of pilots got stuck and had to be vasoline’d out. The pilot had access to only two weapons: A triple-rack of upgraded BM-21’s which he couldn’t use for danger-close reasons, and the main gun, which Lt.Heinz was currently pointing at the giant fuck-off hive-mother. It was his best, and only bet, because UNIT ZERO-ONE was built very much on the same philosophy of the (still in service) A-10 Warthog:

This is a really nice gun. LET’S BUILD A MACHINE AROUND IT.

However, the limitations of the A-10’s main gun are obvious; at 3,900RPM it would take only 18 seconds of sustained fire to empty it’s 70K round magazine. UNIT ZERO-ONE had an even more egregious handicap in that it’s magazine was only 50K rounds of Thermogenic Hardened DU 50mm shells, each GAU-18 spun at a blistering 6,500 RPM and at any given time two were firing at once while a third was cooled – which meant for a cool 3.8 seconds you could be an absolute badass.

Really, by almost any metric you lined humanity’s weapons up to, we fell short.

Almost.

The only saving grace was a small, charged box that sat at the top of the Magazine drum, behind the pilot’s head, underneath the zero-point energy coolant device. It was no bigger than an iPhone XXXXL; the window of the machine was roughly the size of an 8 1/2’ x 11’ sheet of paper, and the machine itself not much larger than that. The mecha was wirelessly linked to La Chancla’s power source; this device had it’s own, separate dedicated link as well. The technology behind it wasn’t truly understood – at least, not well enough to manufacture on Mankind’s own – but it was a gift, and gifts are meant to be used.

Because, honestly. What kind of species would attempt to weaponize a quantum teleportation gate that small? The amount of energy it takes to move matter from point A to point B in just a handful of planck lengths is ridiculous, and there are much better ways – both economically and mechanically – to move things around. To keep a gate this small open for any amount of time would take at least half of a starship’s reactor output, and you’d have to keep that energy sustained for as long as you wanted that gate to remain open!

And so, La Chancla, a 5KM-long orbital drop barge, now devoid of her 5 mechs, spun up her reactors to full output. Within her 5km x 1km x .5km hold, 5 small gates – all gifts – crackled to life, and automated machines began preparations to funnel roughly 4.35 * 10^14 bullets through a gap in space and time, and directly into the enemy’s position.


BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-

Persimmon tapped his ear as he waved to Wiggles, the Karnakian doing her damnest to help shepherd the terran livestock back to their cages. The Terror-beasts themselves were enough of a hassle to deal with, the lone brother-pairs sometimes flying into ship engines or bonking into skyscrapers when the wind tossed them about, but this current swarm was unbearable. Every few seconds he had to stop whatever he was doing to swipe more of these things off of his body, their inquisitive chitinous limbs grabbing at anything that wasn’t nailed down and dragging it along. He waved again, finally getting Wiggles’ attention, and very obviously jabbed his fingers near his ear. Within a few moments, an indicator popped up on his crowded vision:

[Sub.Sys.8.112][Direct Call]: [Do You Accept a Call from [Best_at_Tech]?] [Y/N]

[Poet of Stars]: [Direct Call] [Y]

[Best_at_Tech]: “[BY THE FIRST LIGHT THEY’RE EVERYWHERE-]”

Wiggles flinched at the volume coming from his friend, and with a thought turned her down.

[Poet of Stars]: “[We need to get off of this platform!]”

[Best_at_Tech]: “[YEAH, I KNOW. I’M trying to get to the warm-cuddles, but they’re more interested in saving their livestock! Not to mention these [avians] keep giving me the side-eye-]”

[Poet of Stars]: “[FOCUS. Ignore the livestock, grab the warm-cuddles – it doesn’t matter if you end up giving them minor injuries, remember your CQC training – Close, Quick & Cuddle-]”

[Best_at_Tech]: “[OK I don’t think you understand everything is fighting everything right now-]”

-RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-

Persimmon thrummed deeply in frustration, his tail whip-cracking a few of the beasts off of his body. A moment later over the din of chaos and the low droning of the Human weapon he heard the rapport of energy-fire – and he hastily began spamming a call attempt to his other friend.

[Sub.Sys.8.112][Direct Call]: [Calling [Stole_yo_girl_and_dumped_her] – Line 18

[Sub.Sys.8.112][Direct Call]: [Calling [Stole_yo_girl_and_dumped_her] – Line 19

[Sub.Sys.8.112][Direct Call]: [Calling [Stole_yo_girl_and_dumped_her] – Line 18 Rejected due to network load

[Sub.Sys.8.112][Direct Call]: [Calling [Stole_yo_girl_and_dumped_her] – Line 20

[Sub.Sys.8.112][Direct Call]: [Calling [Stole_yo_girl_and_dumped_her] – Line 19 Rejected due to network load

[Sub.Sys.8.112][Direct Call]: [Calling [Stole_yo_girl_and_dumped_her] – Line 21

[Sub.Sys.8.112][Direct Call]: [Calling [Stole_yo_girl_and_dumped_her] – Call Connected

[Stole_yo_girl_and_dumped_her]: “[Where even are you I can’t see you and [Zngrer] is giving us orders to retreat back into the shuttlecraft-]”

[Sub.Sys.8.112][Direct Call]: [Conferencing Initiatied]

[Best_at_Tech]: “[-and they keep judging me like I’m the one who’s undeserving of-]”

[Poet of Stars]: “[Please, whatever Gods exist, not now! Wiggles, I need you to get the other warm-cuddles and move them to the shuttle-]”

[Best_at_Tech]: “[Shuttle?! I thought we were moving off this platform!?]”

[Stole_yo_girl_and_dumped_her]: “[Wait, there’s more warm-cuddles outside of the ship!? That’s why they keep trying to run out-]”

[Stole_yo_girl_and_dumped_her]: [Muted by User]

With another bat of his tail Persimmon slammed a few very determined Terror-beasts into a group of unmarked crates, hundreds of hard-light disks scattering about the landing-pad. A few happened to land activation-side up, their clamps gripping into the tarmac as they crackled to life; damaged and warped images of warm-cuddles in a default handling pose quickly getting mobbed by the ever-present horde. What few they could dislodge ended up being battered about by the mindless wind and the witless beasts.

-RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-

[Best_at_Tech]: “[What is the PLAN, Swipressnssren? Or am I just going to keep dancing until the First Soul claims me?]”

[Poet of Stars]: “[We round up the warm-cuddles, we go to the ship – follow the sounds of the weaponsfire-]”

[Best_at_Tech]: “[You mean whatever that thing is shooting that was threatening us earlier?]”

[Poet of Stars]: “[No, the energy weap- GET OFF OF ME ALREADY-]

Persimmon/Swipressnssren paused after a mighty upheaval, his body finally free of the beasts to allow him to think. The ever present, loud droning of the Human war-machine drew his attention away from the immediate danger in the few moments he had to himself. The weapon had not ceased to fire an impressive amount of ordinance for the past few minutes; indeed, it was single-handedly pushing back against the queen-Mother’s advance towards the flame. The creature would give an impressive flap of it’s wings, scatter anything loose about in a cacophony of wind and material as it surged forward, and then would be slowly pushed back by the force of the weapons system itself. It was human ingenuity versus a beast of legend, and if Persimmon had the chance and time to gather his thoughts, he would be impressed.

But turning his gaze forced his attention to something that turned his blood to ice; for there, crouched over and crying, sat little Juan Esteban, clutching Eggsmerelda for dear life. Somehow, in the confusion, he had been missed – Every time the Queen-Mother would flap he would cry out, being forcibly lifted just a few inches off the ground, the force of the wind making him tumble backwards a few feet each time… closer to the edge.

With grim determination Swipressnssren sprinted forward, angling his body down to gain as much traction as Jornissianly possible –

-RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-

*flap*

Juan cried out once more, rolling onto his back as terror-beasts picked at him, confused as to what he was but curious to see if he was flammable. With tiny fists and determined legs he beat them back, all the while crying in fear –

-RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-

*flap*

“It’s going to be close,” Persimmon thought, as he literally snaked his way around debris, plowing through what he thought would yield and ignoring the damage to his body of what didn’t. A few dozen more yards and –

-RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-

*flap*

With a mighty gust of wind, possibly borne out of frustration, the Queen-Mother pushed as much as she could, the wave of air pressure rocking Persimmon’s own body. In mute horror he saw Juan Esteban lift and tumble, rolling from the flat surface of the landing-pad under the guard rails to the gritty service-pad. With a thought he reached down mid-sprint, pulling a hard-light disk from the ground and flinging it to the human child.

With luck, it would land near enough to him that it’s clamps would engage; he could grab it and live.

With luck, it would turn on and distract enough beasts to push him down against the mat to buy Persimmon more time.

With luck, it would do something, anything than what it ended up doing.

With absolutely no luck, the disk landed squarely against Juan Esteban’s arms, locking onto them, and providing the last bit of momentum to push him off of the edge. With shared visages of horror and sorrow their eyes met, until they met no more.

And Abuela woke up.

Categories
Stories They are Smol

They are Smol… and it’s a Smol World?: Chapter 14

One fundamental fact about Humanity that you have to embrace is this: We will do things for aesthetics, even if it’s suboptimal – or impractical.

This extends from our personal lives (pants are the enemy at home but they protect me when I cook bacon) to our entertainment (No your dinner doesn’t have to be plated like that but you’re paying too much for it anyway so why not) all the way to engineering… eccentricities. Roads to nowhere, a Bridge over the river Kwai – you know the deal.

Point being, when you get enough engineers in a room and tell them, literally, that they have infinite resources, you’re gonna get some very interesting ideas come out, most of which are impractical, redundant, or outright insane – again, par for the course. Some, like the self-adapting roomba, get approval and widespread adoption. Others…

…we don’t talk about the ez-puff turkey baster.

Unit ZERO ONE sat somewhere firmly in the middle of the two, a fever dream of practicality and aesthetics brought to heel. The design dream of every engineer since the early 1980’s has been to build a Gundam, or at least a Mecha, and go stomp around Eastern Europe/Neo-Tokyo/Wherever the hell DBZ took place and shootbang… aesthetically. You can’t look me in the eyes and tell me that Robotech swarm missiles aren’t perfect just the way they are, or that transformation sequences aren’t aesthetic as hecc, or that having a gun that shoots colorful lasers isn’t the future. Go on, I dare you.

Well. I know you don’t have it in you to do so, dear reader, but the Human Military-Industrial complex does. And the unfortunate truth that we’ll all have to face one day is that Mechs, while absolutely the future, are also absolutely useless. Massive multi-hundred or thousand ton machines standing on two legs? Congrats, all but the most re-enforced bedrock may as well be quicksand, or mud. With an impressive height profile comes the fact that cover/concealment (other than skyscrapers or, yanno, mountains) doesn’t really exist. Having two hands, while absolutely bitchin cause you got thumbs doesn’t help when you have to switch weapons, or carry them, or manually reload. And if you get an arm blown off, it’s not like you can just… use the other arm to fire both weapons (or keep your balance). That’s not counting the pointy/janky armor, the multiple nuclear reactors you’d need working at full tilt to power the thing, the fact that any form of jump-jet or jets in general would look less like an aesthetic glide across the ground and more like the fucking Challenger exploding multiple times in a single place and… well.

Aesthetics has to give way to practicality. Sometimes. And so the Human Military had the guts to tell their engineering department to stop building mecha and testing them, and to scrap everything they were doing and build actual, functional tanks and planes and ships. This only caused roughly half the engineering department to weld shut their assembly bay doors and declare themselves a Democratic Republic, but that tin pot dictatorship lasted only as long as the coffee supply.

So a deal was struck. Unit ZERO ONE was a Mecha… kinda. Barely. If you closed one or both eyes and dreamed a bit.

Unit ZERO ONE rose from the burning wreckage that it’s hot drop caused, tank treads helping it rotate towards the other landing pad. It was short and stout; almost like an oversized attack helecopter’s cockpit if it had a couple hundred pounds to lose around the waist, with a mean-looking tri-linked barrel below where the sole pilot sat. Jutting out of either side of the janky-looking box were two very small manipulator arms; at first glance it looked like one of those extender-picker arms that the elderly used to get things from very high/very low places, but with closer inspection these were painted a matte black (and as we all know, that means tacticool). The machine sputtered to life, engine roaring as it shifted into a second gear, a half-dozen microdrones escaping out the sides and back like a swarm of angry bees. With a surge of energy the grips on the treads began to glow, and the tank’s magneto-gravitic field kicked in, letting it hover just a few inches off the ground.

-Arms: Check (Technically)

-Legs: Check (Technically)

-Jump Jets: Check (Technically)

-Crazy-looking machine with awesome sharp angles: Check (Technically)

-Solo Pilot: Check (this one is accurate)

-Swarm Missiles: Check (BM-21’s strapped to the back count, damnit.)

-Laser Gun: WIP (we can’t all be winners)

Therefore Technically a Gundam.

The Therefore Technically a Gundam UNIT ZERO ONE’s pilot clicked the intercom on his side panel, rolling his shoulders. “WELL HELLO THERE FELLOW HUMANS!” He enthusiastically yelled a bit too loudly, the adrenaline of dropping from high-orbit onto burning wreckage with the knowledge that he was the killiest motherfucker in the tri-state area causing him to forget to use his inside voice. “TELL ME, EXACTLY WHO IS IN CHARGE HERE?”

20 different hands pointed in 20 different directions; a few of them straight up.

“BUT THAT’S THE WRONG ANSWER. IT WAS ME. IT WAS ME ALL ALONG.” He growled through the Technically a Gundam’s speakers, hovering menacingly in place.

“CHICKPEA, do you copy?”

Lt. Heinz blinked and flicked off the intercom as his helmet finally re-established secure communications with La Chancla. “What… fucking, what. I thought it was CHICKADEE?”

“Well, fuck it, you’re CHICKPEA now. Drones are up, we’re getting a live feed. Can you please stop spooking the locals?”

Lt. Heinz wrinkled his nose a bit, sniffing hard. “Don’t see what all the fuss is about – look at all the model citizens before us, ready to answer all my questions!”

“You’re pointing the Warthog at them, so yeah. I’d answer too – but that’s also threatening civilians, so, yanno. Stop that.”

“Fine, fine. So what’s up HONDURAS?”

“It’s… HUMMUS.”

Lt. Heinz sat in his cockpit and thought for a few brief moments. “We’re not letting Amir give us codenames while he’s hungry ever again.”

“No arguments here. Anyway, facial recognition scans have given us what we needed – HUD updating now.” HUMMUS said as icons and indicators popped up on CHICKPEA’s visor. He pointedly looked at the group of aliens on the tarmac; names, ages, security clearances, job descriptions – all enriched, appended data flowed into his vision, and just as quickly as he took it all in he dismissed them almost wholly outright.

Kids. Well, “Kids”. On one hand, CHICKPEA was kinda jealous at their lifespans; their young adults were older than any human, ever. On the other hand, 80 years of puberty? Yeesh.

“I don’t think that’s how it works, CHICKPEA. Also, focus. That’s the Aleman family – the one between the two fluffies – is our most likely mark.”

CHICKPEA flicked on his speakers again. “YOU THERE, BOY IN THE STREET.”

The Dorarizin pointed at himself, which was just enough of a gap for the human he was bear-hugging to shimmy out of his grip. With an unceremonious thump Thomas Aleman freed himself from his furry prison, landing squarely on his butt.

“Yes. YOU. …How you doin’?”

“I – uh. What? You’re with the UTF?”

Distantly, and far away, there was a sound so low and so deep that it wasn’t heard, or felt; it just was. It was an Opening, an Awakening.

“Fuck yeah I am-”

“CHICKPEA. Professionalism, please.”

“-eer. Yes. We noticed a few… discrepancies with air traffic control and decided to stop by and say hello, make sure you are all doing ok.” Lt. Heinz said, slipping into his I-have-to-be-a-professional-the-corps-counts-on-me mode.

“Uh. Y-yeah, Well the-”

There was a soft, barely-audible moan on the breeze.

“[I am sorry, but this citizen is under the protection of the [Gentle Expanse] Planetary Defense Forces, and will not answer an inquiry unless they have an advocate present and have been charged wi-]”

“Literally who the fuck is talking to you, Fido?” CHICKPEA growled, his Actually a Mecha shutup it’s real turning to fully face his accuser. “I don’t see a badge on you, I don’t answer to you, and if you’re going to kidnap my people-”

“[This was an emergency rescue miss-]”

“AAUURRRAAAAAHAHHHHHH-”

With a mighty Luchador/Matador cry the ancient and sinewed muscles of Ricardo Aleman, patriarch of the Aleman clan, Gripped the confused, bruised, and not-at-all-bemused Jornissian pilot under his arms. Using his very long spine against him he ran up the wall of the transport ship and leapt, pulling the pilot backwards. Rolling up into a ball he pulled back, the alien snake’s head leading the way for it’s body to follow. With a tremendous THUMP the top of the pilot’s head connected with the pavement, bouncing in a very unfortunate way.

Ricardo pulled himself up from the limp Jornissian and held his arms up high, yelling a challenge to the skies.

“[Why. Just. Why.]”

“TAG ME OUT-”

A half-dozen hands slapped their father’s, and the train of people’s elbows began again in earnest. CHICKPEA nodded to himself as his drones recorded a perfect example of civilian CQC.

“He remembered the basics. Good, good.”

“[PLEASE stop attacking the pilot! He flies for You-]”

“FIDO. Eyes up here, hands where I can see’em.”

The combat-suited Dorarizin growled, stepping infront of the civilians. “[This will NOT stand, and I will have an inquiry launched-]”

Distantly, and far away, there was a rush of air so strong and so diffuse that nobody felt it as much as a breeze, but it hit everyone evenly – a great exhalation, a Rising.

“And yet, I still don’t give a fuck. Until you answer all the questions I and my team have, you’ll sit here and be thankful that this gun has a safety on it.”

“[You do realize that we’ve already called for backup, right? And that this little fiasco is going to be recorded for everyone to see?]”

“Oh. We’re counting on it – because you do realize I’m more than ok with killing everyone here and then myse-

“CHICKPEA.”

“Yeah, fuck I know, professionalism, but did you hear this cu-”

“NO. Incoming signatures-”

“AYYYY.” Lt. Heinz cheered over the speakers, tilting his mecha up into the skies. “FINALLY.”

“[Y-You’re not seriously going to fire on friendly PDF forces-]”

Öööööööööö” the wind seemed to say, a rippling chorus of voices agreeing as one.

“I don’t know, Fido – PDF forces aren’t seriously going to kidnap and move Human Civilians without notifying our unified government, now are they?”

Lt. Heinz didn’t see it, for there was no way he could know, but Zngrer’s face went pale. “[N-no. This was a rescue mission-]”

“For what, Hmm? Cause I don’t know if you know this, but I’m not anti-personnel, I’m anti-aircraft.With a hoot he shut off his speakers, quickly running through various sub-routines to bring his weapons online. “So what do we got, HUMMUS?”

“I uh. I don’t know?”

“IF IT BLEEDS I CAN KILL IT-”

“No fuck off with that – seriously! There’s some ships headed towards you, fine, some headed… away, and civvie ships – all that’s easy to filter. It’s… it’s like a cloud.” HUMMUS murmured, looking over the telemetry and sensor data.

“A wut.”

“Sensor suite is saying it looks like a cloud – a migration of… what the fuck is that?”

Not so far away now, there was another Opening, a Steadying – the few clouds parted, and the stars began to wink out one by one. It was a Flight, a Dominance.

Lt. Heinz thought for a few moments again. The enemy of my enemy is still a sonofabitch, but danger makes strange bedfellows which is why you should always not ever never use condoms.

“Hey-” He said, flicking the now heavily-worn speaker switch back on. “What’s moving in the night, en mass to make it seem like a cloud, and headed right towards us?”

“[Existential dread-]”

“[Meteor showers?]”

“The back of my han-”

“They’re Moths. They’re fucking giant Moths.” Thomas said, standing up and dusting himself off. “They swarmed us in the wilds, destroyed everything.”

“…No really, pull the other one. It’s got bells on.”

“He’s not lying” HUMMUS interjected, a slight static hiss tingling CHICKPEA’s ears. “They look like giant fucking moths, and they’re coming right at you.”

ÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ” The night said, louder and more insistently.

“……. So can I-”

“I mean, I guess.” HUMMUS murmured, giving an audible shrug. “I just don’t know what the fuck is going on with my sensors.”

“What do you mean, you don’t know? HUMMUS. What aren’t you telling me?”

“[What is your food not telling you? What?]”

“Fido – Fuck, am I still on public vox?”

“This… can’t be right. Nothing that – no. That can’t be right-” HUMMUS started to repeat, the sound of a mechanical keyboard clacking hard in the background. “NO. I mean, No. That’s – no. Literally How-

So much closer now, that it had been picked up on sensors – on everyone’s sensors. An outline, an impression, a thousand thousand thousand small thralls making their way to civilization, pushed forward. It was Mottenacht, it was La Noche de La Mariposa Nocturna, it was a Reckoning 5,000 years in the making. It was. The stars began to wink out closer, wider, greater, a vast stretch ended in the moonless sky as the Opening pushed downward, a gust of wind blowing hard enough to interrupt all others.

How does something that fucking big even EXIST-”

“HUMMUS, I need you to talk to me – what is it I’m seeing?”





“ÖĤ”



As one everyone looked to the sky – to the fireships that arrived too late, to the swarm of terror-beasts that had started to circle the largest “hot” fire the planet had seen in millenia, to the stars that winked out and the clouds that were pushed away. Spreading her mighty wings it seemed to split and lift the sky, the pressure differential lifting some of the smaller livestock right off the ground, the interocitor-fueled-fire seeming to rise at it’s call.

“[I thought that was a legend to scare chicks home at night.]” sighed Wiggles as she limply sat down, the majesty of the beast above her overwhelming the senses.

“[E-everyone. I need everyone. I need EVERYONE.]” The spec-ops Dorarizin began to chant, half as a plea for help over open comms and half as some sort of mantra to possibly ward off …

“[No… no way.]” Persimmons muttered. “[That’s a… that’s a…]”

Little Juan held Eggsmereda tightly as he stared into the fire-lit inky black, too young to fear death, truly, but old enough to know it.












 “It’s a Mother.”

Categories
Stories They are Smol

They are Smol – and it’s a Smol World: Chapter 13

It has been said by brilliant men of the past that there are known knowns, known unknowns, and unknown unknowns.

This, however, is not a complete venn diagram, for there are still unknowingly knowns, Knowing knowns, and things that you know that you know – yanno?

One of the things that you know that you know, when you’re in the know, is when someone knows something that you don’t know but doesn’t know that you know that they know, and continues to pretend that they don’t know.

“So. One more time for my translator’s sake.” Admiral Smalls said to the vidscreen before him, the Dorarizin idly flicking an ear in irritation on the other end of the line.

“[As I said, Admiral.]” Kzdzgrar-of-Rzndzre repeated in slow, practiced speech, “[There was a health and safety incident with one of the new colonists on an unformatted plot of land. There are no injuries reported, and they will be returned to the [Human] nexus soon. When I receive an update, you will be updated, per our accord.]”

“Per our accord, Administrator -” Adm. Smalls responded, taking a dossier from one of his aids and opening it up, “- we should have been notified… within 5 minutes of the initial call, if it was a health and safety incident, to aid first responders with medical and cultural walkthroughs and over-the-shoulder monitoring of the colonists in question for emergencies your people may not be trained to catch.”

“[It is… a system that we have just finished implementing and not yet used, Admiral. I humbly request that you allow us to make a mistake, now and again, as we strive towards perfection amongst our species.]”

Adm. Smalls sighed, flatly looking at the giant lying wolf-bear-alien-thing. “I, and my superiors, senators, the press and basically everyone who rubs two braincells together are going to have a real problem with this. The agreement here is worded so loosely that you could have technically contacted us, though our shipping fax number, and that would have counted as ‘notification’. Yet, You apparently had the time, coordination and ability to summon a significant contingent of response ships to a single point, manage that air traffic around it, and then continue to manage airspace as they dispersed.”

Idly, he opened the dossier again, glancing over the law brief. “Yet, and here’s another loophole for you, you couldn’t send a 3 line text that read … if I’m reading this right, ‘Health And Safety Incident. Involves These Citizens. Stable Condition.’”

“[Well-]”

“By text.”

“[It’s an unsecur-]”

“Can’t be more than 5kb of data.”

“[The process wasn’t-]”

“Can we just… try this again. One more time-”

“[Admiral, I apologize.]” Kzdzgrar-of-Rzndzre interrupted, giving a little bow of her head. “[But the story will not change from telling to telling; There’s no new information, and I’ll let you know when I know something.]”

“You can’t even tell us which one of our people are involved?”

“[I don’t know.]”

“You can’t tell us which ship they’re on.”

“[I don’t know.]”

“You can’t even tell us where our own first responders should go to wait for the civilians? Or how about reports of one of our safety pods being ripped right from it’s foundation-”

“[Admiral.]” Kzdzgrar growled, harsh staccato clicks coughing out through the deep rumble. “[You’ll know when I know. This conversation serves as the fulfillment of our notification obligation; I apologize sincerely that it was late. If it’s an issue, I can direct you to the inquiry paperwork necessary to launch a formal review of the process. Now. I will update you when we are ready to update you.]”

Admiral Smalls nodded to himself, closing the dossier with a light thap. “Alright. Just don’t be surprised when the other shoe drops.”

“[We shall… keep our eyes open for footwear, I assure you.]” Kzdzgrar-of-Rzndzre diplomatically responded, her muzzle furrowing in slight confusion. “[Is there anything else I can help you with?]”

“No. That’ll be all. Thank you for your time.”

The screen went dark, and for a half-second as the black membrane de-ionized, Admiral Smalls caught himself smirking in the obsidian reflection.

“That’s a pretty cheeky code phrase, Sir.”

“Eh.” Adm. Smalls shrugged halfheartedly, placing the dossier on his console. “It’s an un-encrypted channel, which is probably why she didn’t tell me anything at all. The real question is, why didn’t she try to move us over to secure communications?”

“I don’t know, Sir.” The Attache said, checking his tablet. “But our Shoebox is starting it’s drop. No change in ETA.”

Admiral Smalls sat down at his console, staring out into the sea of stars, as somewhere far below him, with an imperceptible nudge of it’s thrusters, a vantablack drop pod changed it’s orbit.

“[Alright, we’re coming around now – is our cargo secure?]”

Zngrer-of-Drgrabgh made deliberate eye contact with the tiny-chomper under her arm, who did nothing but glare at her. His brother was…. Somewhere in the cargo netting; Was he going to shift around if they had to do a maneuver? No. Would he most likely need to be cut out once they landed? Yes.

“{Yeah. We’re fine.}”

“[Good! We’re getting priority docking clearance now; I’m going to lower the ramp – let me know if we’re still good to go!]”

Zngrer sighed audibly as she gripped one of the overhead rails, the craft rocking imperceptibly from side to side as her able pilot bled speed and began to hover. As this was an emergency operation, and so few landing pads were…. Completed, let alone open, they had to pick the best option and go for it. Pad 5 just held some family’s livestock – easily replaceable, if push came to shove – and nothing else of value, so it was deemed the best possible place to land.

“{Landing Pad 5 is Clear.}” Zngrer-of-Drgrabgh said, leaning over slightly to check around the craft. Small-but-forgetful took this moment to start squirming again, because of course he would,-

“[You crush my family’s farm puta we gonna have some words-]”

“{Oh, so you can talk-}”

“[ARE WE BEING RELEASED-]”

“{Not You, Battery-type-A. I meant your brother-}”

“[Look can I land or not?]”

“[CAN I GO OR NOT?!]”

“{YES! YES ALREADY.}”

“[FINALLY-]”

“[Copy! Damn, no need to be so angry – putting the glider down now -]”

With an unceremonious thud, the emergency response skimmer’s landing struts bumped and flexed under the slightly-fast landing, pilot Szreshnstrst flaring the engines once just to “push” the craft into the landing pad and stop it from skittering anywhere before the magnetic clamps could engage. With an unnecessarily loud buzzing the magnetic inlays within the landing pad itself turned on, the craft suddenly becoming ridiculously steady on the platform.

“[… well that’s a landing that didn’t break your jaw, so Huzzah!]” Szreshnstrst called from his Pilot’s console, going through the wind-down process to make the ship inert. “[But seriously, we need to discuss how these pads are designed because there was no telemetry from the ground up to position…]”

Zngrer-of-Drgrabgh tuned out her partner’s traditional post-mission de-stress babble as she surveyed the landing pad around the ship. There was still ample space to maneuver, that’s certain, but the thrust and force of their skimmer craft had… upset the locals to a degree. Zngrer knew almost nothing of Dirt wildlife, but she knew a stress response when she saw one.

“{Have we contacted their colonial headquarters yet? Do we – oh. I guess… I guess that’s the welcome committee?}” Zngrer-of-Drgrabgh murmured into her comm as the elevator to the landing pad slowly rose, a couple-dozen tiny-chompers in both military, utility and civilian clothing swarming out of the pen once the gate opened up. So many of the little sapients would’ve been a distraction, sure, had there not been a bigger oddity of three other Xenos – civilians, by the look of it – carrying what seemed to be a gigantic egg.

“[-kill them to also project the magnetic fields. I mean, I know they can’t see it but It’ll help us if we have to l-]”

“{I’m… gonna go check this out.}”

“[-an-what?]”

“{Nothin, just, hang tight and uh… I think one of ‘em is stuck.}”

“[Wait what-]”

Luciana was right – partially right, but, you never go partial when you’re right. This is the first rule of dealing with family; You are always 100% correct, and only sometimes rarely partially (but not totally) incorrect. When the tight grouping of ships made a full pass around the landing towers, she was concerned. When they picked her family’s pad to land, she had to make it a point to tell her mother to wait up, as she had already begun to sprint towards the nearest entrance to the Human quarters.

Abuela, for her part, was tucked in gently to her safety pod, had a few more selfies taken, and was then rapidly absconded with back towards the human quarters. The Jornissian Hydra attempted to follow to provide “moral support” but various automated and highly unnecessary self-defense systems stopped that measure of goodwill dead in it’s tracks.

Getting sprayed with subzero saline water is just cruel, no matter who you are.

Regardless, Tipo, Wiggles, Persimmon, Eggbuela, Luciana and Sofia were rapidly joined by self-defense personnel, emergency personnel and the entirety of the Aleman clan as they raced to the elevator.

Were the Alemans told that the ship contained their sons? No.

But they felt it.

And no matter who you are, when an entire clan of farmers says “we’re getting on the elevator”, you make space.

The ride up was silent, save for the ambient noise of the wind and the slowly-dying sounds of the cityscape below. As they gained altitude the temperature dropped; what was a pleasant dip from 90 to 70 degrees in the day went to 50 or lower at night. There was a small moment up the elevator ride when the city was too far away to be a nuisance, the wind was too steady to be anything other than background noise, and the concern of the livestock was barely audible. In that moment, half-audible prayers were lifted, bags and mags were checked, and a young boy held his hen a little closer to his chest.

Abuela, by virtue of being on Wiggles’ back, was technically the first to see what had happened. However, she was not paying attention to her vidscreens as she was passed out pretty hard, so she doesn’t count. After her came Persimmon, who attempted to stretch up and get a better vantage point. Unfortunately this left him terribly exposed to a few Juans, who took this opportunity to piggyback on the poor Jornissian – literally – causing him to wobble back down onto the elevator floor. By the time everyone had untangled themselves the elevator floor had basically docked, and once the floodgates opened, well-

“Where are my children-

“Ma’am I’m going to have to ask you to-”

“Horses – get the horses Joaquin-”

“What in the fuck- Andres?! WHERE ARE YOU-”

“Fuck off-fuck off-

[Sir I’m sorry I’m trying to help and I need to cut you down from-]”

“Papa-!”

“Boy how did you get into the fucking netting-”

“[Sir please I need you and your family to step away this knife is sharp and I need to work on the netting-]”

“[FUCK you – Juans! Chingalo-]”

As Wiggles and Persimmon worked on gently placing the Abuelegg on the ground, Ngruzren-of-Arzgr locked eyes with what seemed to be a planetary defense soldier of some sort. She – Tipo was sure it was a she – was having some sort of conversation with some of the first responders, who were gesturing wildly to the limp tiny-chomper under her arm. Tipo watched as she reached up and unlocked her helmet, revealing-

Oh.

Oh.

He blinked, and felt himself move forward as if in a dream. The cold night air – admittedly never bothered him – but now, he didn’t feel it. In a moment, a few deep breaths, he was there.

He was there with her.

“{Hi.}”

Zngrer-of-Drgrabgh was in the middle of explaining to one of the attendant tiny-chompers that no, this human was perfectly healthy and that yes, she demanded to speak to his parents, when a very… breathy greeting was pushed her way. Zngrer looked up and kept as steady a face as she could, given the circumstances.

Boys this young and this good looking do not go after girls like her. And yet.

“{Hello.}”

The young boy – no, man, university, maybe? – giggled and pierced her with his eyes. His mane was wild and unkempt in this breeze, his loose jacket seeming to billow and yet, hug his frame. Give peeks of what’s below only when the spirits deemed her fit to see, and even then, only for an instant. He reached up and idly ran a claw through his fur, fingers idly finding a tuft to twist while he just… looked at Zngrer. Looked at her and looked through her.

“{H-hi…}”

“{Hey. Uh.}” Zngrer’s mouth seemed full of lead; words were so difficult. He’s just a man – albeit, a very hot man – and it’s fine and

“{I uh… like your uniform. Um. PDF?}”

“{Y-yeah.}” Zngrer smiled, her ears seeming to tilt and broadcast her emotions for all to see.

She didn’t care.

“{And uh, y-you?}”

“{Guide me.}” he said, mouth hanging open slightly as he seemed to arch his back, those damnable, blessed eyes swallowing her whole, pouring her into his core just as he would pou-

“{S-sorry?}”

“{I-I uh.}” The student broke eye contact, and just like that the spell was over. The arched back was simply wrapping his jacket tighter around his body, his mouth suddenly turning into a soft frown.

No. Not like that. Don’t look like that.

“{I’m just a tiny-chomper tour guide-}”

Please. Look at me again. Look at me with those eyes, in that way, just once more. Let me carry that for a few years, please.

“{O-oh! Oh well, that must be fun, though-}”

“{Yeah… yeah it is. I’ve got my friends-}” He looked behind him, and she pretended to follow his gaze, but lingered on his form. Her peripheral vision was telling her forebrain something about a Jornissian and Karnakian citizen chasing after a giant rolling egg as the winds whipped it around, but her hindbrain had taken over.

And it liked what it saw.

The male turned back and looked at her again, a slightly embarrassed blush spreading across his face. And those eyes, not piercing, but warm… soft.

. . . .

GIVE HIM A GIFT YOU PACKLESS NITWIT

“{Oh! Oh uh, um… here! S-since you like tiny-chompers and all-}” Zngrer-of-Drgrabgh stammered, presenting the floppy tiny-chomper to the boy. “{I uh. We saved this one. And his uh, brother, in the-}” Zngrer turned her head slightly to motion back to the ship, her eyes registering about a half-dozen tiny-chompers taking turns giving her pilot/partner the People’s Elbow. “{-…ship…}”

Warm hands.

Warm hands caressed her own, and she turned and tensed at the sudden closeness. The gap between them had closed, and warm hands covered her own, pressing the tiny-chomper into his soft mane.

“{Thank you…}” He murmured, his arms wrapping around the still-limp-out-of-utter-confusion sapient, cradling the tiny-chomper gently. “{I’m Ngruzren-of-Arzgr.}”

“{Handsome name. I’m Zngrer. Zngrer-of-Drgrabgh. I uh… yeah.}”

“{Yeah.}”

The two smiled at each other, as the wind whipped them gently, passionately, forcing movement of clothing and fur where otherwise there would be none.

And their eyes locked together.

“[OH YEAH MOTHERFUCKERS LET’S GIT GUD-]”

Everyone on the landing pad jumped – Zngrer moving to defensively shield Ngruzen with her body as something slammed into Landing Pad 04. From the twisted wreckage of the interocitor arose La Chancla’s UNIT ZERO ONE, coffin-pod aggressively exploding out from the crater’d landing site, shredding fuel lines, a goodly portion of a civilian shuttlecraft and cooking off a few atom storage boxes. As the exotic material began to cook off and ignite, bathing the pad and the viewers in harsh reds, yellows, oranges and whites, the pinnacle of human military mecha technology stood proudly.

Well. “Stood”. We’ll get to that next chapter. The point is, it counts as standing, and those count as arms, and that means it is technically a Gundam and if you’d like to argue with triple-linked GAU-12 turrets then you’re more than welcome to.

“[THE HUMAN MILITARY HAS SOME QUESTIONS FOR THE COMMON MAN ON THE STREET.]” ZERO ONE bellowed, the fire spreading to cover most of landing pad 04, causing it’s tower to look like a perverse parody of an olympic torch.

“[NOW THEN. WHO WANTS TO GO FIRST?]”